Time: 8:09am
What: 15 minutes seated practice
Focus: First Foundation / Exercise 1 - 4
Meditation is something that I enjoy. I appreciate the idea of having no goal. That sitting on the cushion is not going to bring about our idealized concept of happiness or enlightenment. I have no real need for regular day-to-day dissatisfaction and difficulty to end. Highs occur in comparison to lows.
Sat down with the feelings of anxiety, sadness, hyperactivity... Sitting with eyes closed. Concentration on the experience of breath. Expanding to awareness of whole body. Closed eyes (this morning) felt heady, shut off, and less grounded. Mental formations occurring prior to sitting continued once on the cushion. With moments (very brief moments) of calm - like rays of sun piercing through an otherwise cloudy sky. Felt panic. Felt tears. Felt shortness in breath and increase in heart rate. Felt tightness of chest and throat. Felt antsy to get off the cushion. Check the clock (one minute left). Awareness of breath and body. Bong.
I'd do it again [insert winking emoticon here].
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