"never leave home without Betty & Pansy"!

An Apparent Theme
(Or writings in a notebook on the subway)

I like to consider myself a feminist. Something that makes my girlfriend (and possibly you) furrow her brow. Part of my self-professed feminism is to not allow myself to fall prey to body image issues. Body image being society's way of keeping intelligent women focused on superficial things instead of changing the world (I just thought to myself Fergalicious... curious...).

Variety (I'll have you know) is the spice of life.

However, there are those days. The bad hair days. The days when you feel uncomfortable in your skin. And on those days....


I wish I had a better ability to blend.

Drawing disconcerting glances from strangers. Receiving rude remarks or general observations regarding my appearance.

Even as a child, I didn't blend in. So frequently the "new kid".

At one school in Etobicoke, the kids would group together to pick on me. Beat me up in the schoolyard. Medusa they would call me. Like they'd never seen curly hair before (right!). Having come from such a varied background of ethnicities. Me, the quiet meek curly-haired fair-skinned white girl from a single-parent family. An anomaly. An oddity.

Now (as an adult), I realize, I sort of bring it on myself. Tattoos. Dreadlocks. Bits shaved and dyed various colors. Facial piercings. I could, of course, dress like a middle-aged woman that shops too frequently at the GAP. But...

...that is not what I do.

And sadly, the days I feel uncomfortable in my skin. The days I feel bloated or have no clean clothes. These are the days people look. People comment. People notice. These are the days I sit on the subway, brooding and writing in a notebook. When all I want to do is stay at home, in my pajamas, curl up and watch a movie.

A movie full of blond girls with straight hair wearing clothes from the GAP.