"never leave home without Betty & Pansy"!

Time: 9:07am
What: 25 minutes seated practice / 10 minutes metta meditation
Focus: Third Foundation / Exercises 9 - 12 (Ana-)

Woke up this morning in darkness. Girlfriend sleeping in the bed. Friend sleeping on the couch. Realized that the situation didn't allow for asana practice. Reset the alarm for an hour later and went back to sleep.

Brushed teeth mindfully (had a moment of questioning what that meant). Prepared coffee mindfully. Sat down on the cushion. Situated just a foot or two from sleeping friend. Alarm set to "bong" at 20 minutes and then snooze (alarm setting, not what I'm doing in meditation... ha ha) for the last five. An idea / format I'm testing out to get used to the slightly longer time with less struggle.

I don't think I've ever really sat down and payed attention to mental formations in this particular way... Decided to read the MY chapter on the third foundation to clarify the intent. I think perhaps I get the intention intellectually. Maybe I don't "get" it practically in application. Or that it is simply unfamiliar and thereby uncomfortable. Ooooohhh... exciting. Funny because the very first sit had one of those "ah-ha" moments and then poof! no more ah-ha for me.

For the 'Be Peace' / Noah Levine workshop, he had us do loving-kindness meditation first in a seated position and then in walking meditation out on the busy Toronto streets. Decided to do metta meditation on my walk to the subway in the morning. Mind wandered in and out from thinking/planning/reviewing and repeating the phrases. (Preemptive apology for the language) It felt like a bit of a clusterfuck. Thinking activity, phrases, breath, walking, surroundings, stuffiness in nose and chest, exertion of walking uphill, passersby... Definitely not as clear and calm as the group version after sitting for most of the day. And yet with all of that, it felt beneficial.

Feeling a little discombobulated after the weekend. Have had a series of BIG conversations with people from my youth, with my partner, with Laura, with strangers... Set intentions for possible BIG changes... Participated in various enlightening dialogues (i.e. listening to Noah Levine, to Velcrow Ripper)... Did lots of sitting... Watched Fierce Light...

Perhaps more on this shortly.